Good for you! Every journey starts with a first step. Your job is the follow through. That part, that very part is the part you’re worried about. Will you be able to finish what you’ve started? Yeah, you probably started something or several somethings and gave up, quit, became uninterested or just walked away. Sometimes that’s acceptable. For example, you wouldn’t continue in a relationship that was toxic; you wouldn’t continue a harmful behavior. On the other hand, maybe you’ve got a list of things you wanted to begin (like all those New Year’s resolutions that never got off the ground) that you really would have liked to see come to pass.
Let’s take a moment to be aware of our self-talk. You know, that voice in your head that calls you names, insults you, makes you quit when in reality, you really could have done it. Just because you quit, doesn’t make you a quitter. You say, “Well then what does make a quitter?”
Answer, the one who quits and NEVER, EVER tries again. At anything.
So how do you keep going? Good question. Easy, one-step answer. Ready for it? Here we go. “You don’t give up.”
Cool huh? You think I’m being a smart aleck, don’t you? But everybody who has succeeded at anything, be it a marathon to management pushed through to get to a point of completion for the given task. The definition is the easy part, the hard part is, of course, the doing. You’re going to have to do it. You’re just going to have to do it. If you want it bad enough, you stop the excuses that are validating your present life and you’ll just do it. Yeah, life sucked as a kid, and your parents were a piece of work, and there never was enough money, and you never had friends and life just sucked. Got it! And what about tomorrow? By continuing to do nothing to get out of your present circumstance, you are giving over power to yesterday to darken and ruin tomorrow.
“Better” just doesn’t happen by accident. It takes a realization of where you are to get where you want to go. Remember going to Six Flags and looking at the maps to get to the cool rides? You would look for the, “You Are Here” arrow to see where you were so you knew how to get to your destination.
Do you know where you are? Do you? Then you have an important tool to get you where you want to be.
How to Stop Quitting
So let’s break this down. How Do You Start Over:
- Resolve to start over
- Follow through
- Understand where you are
- Make a goal
- Set priorities
- Don’t Give Up.
- Repeat as necessary
So here we go.
You’ve already done #1 or you’d still be wanting to do the thing that sent you to my page in the first place. So let’s move on.
We’ve already talked about that one, as well. You just need to set certain things into place that will work like an accountability partner. Give friends or relations a degree of authority in your life to give you fresh ideas, encourage you and keep you on track and focused. However, the other side of this is you have to watch your boundaries so they don’t dictate their morals and perspectives to you. The other down side is to watch that you don’t become codependent. Meaning, you don’t lose who you are when you ask for help. Also, attend support meetings for help or just things you’d like to try out. Like writer’s clubs, hobby groups etc. Meetup.com is great for this kind of thing.
Understand Where You Are.
Yeah, we’ve touched on this too but there’s more. Like I said, “Better” just doesn’t happen by accident. It takes a realization of where you are to get where you want to go. Remember going to Six Flags. Every journey has at least 3 points of reference:
Where you’ve been-your past
Where you are-your present condition
Where you are going. (This part can have multiple conclusions.)
Make a Goal.
What’s a goal? Well, let me answer this way, “A dream without a plan is just a wish.” You have to make a goal. How? Start small. Not that you are unable, in so much that you’ll have more success with a first step that leaping to the end. That, and it’s easier to restart with a small setback than a huge collapse. A goal can be things like reading a book you think is out of your league. Going to church. Making eye contact and saying “Hello” to a stranger. Then work your way up.
If you want this, you’re going to have to carve out time, attention and energy. Meaning you’re going to have to say, “No” to some other things. We call those boundaries. I’ve got a page on that, check it out. For now, let’s say you have to make your choice, focus your energy, say no to things you don’t want and a bold Yes! to things you want to happen. By the way, if you just say no and not yes, then all you get is isolated, inactive and depressed. You have to say yes to new things to begin again.
Don’t Give Up.
The understanding of this is easy. You just don’t give up. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”― Thomas A. Edison. I use that quote. A LOT! Why? (Again with the questions!) Because he had a very limited education. These days, people are so hyper-focused on credentialing that they don’t accept the greatest teacher of all, common sense as a valid education. Probably because they lack it, themselves. Another Edison proverb is, “The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense.” The guy had over a thousand patents. You may say that he was just a smart guy but he says he just doesn’t give up as fast as others. All this to say, I know it’s tough, but if you give up, you’re giving into what your enemies already say about you. Don’t give them the pleasure. They are wrong.
Repeat as necessary.
When it blows up in your face, and it will, get up, dust yourself off, say your prayers and start over again. Who cares how many times you have to try again! Who appointed themselves score keeper in your life anyway? Start over. You may ask how many times do people get to start over I say, “How many you need?”
Little kids don’t give up when they fall down, they learn to walk.